


Paying Respects

by wyntreaurora



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: (for now but we'll see how they spin it), Gen, In Memory of Anton Yelchin, Non-Canonical Character Death, Tribute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 21:42:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7405978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyntreaurora/pseuds/wyntreaurora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Jim handles the death of one his crew with the help of Bones, Spock and Uhura.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paying Respects

**Author's Note:**

> This is just one way I could see the AOS gang handling Chekov's death as my tribute to Anton. This is the core group taking care of each other in their own way. I couldn't really write about Sulu or Scotty because I can't even imagine how they'd handle that. I wrote this with no ships that way everyone can imagine their preferred ships handling it however they want.  
> Unbeta'd technically even though I always run everything by [witblogi](http://archiveofourown.org/users/witblogi/pseuds/witblogi) first to make sure I'm not totally off my rocker somewhere.

 

 

 

Bones understood, he did. He'd be truly shocked if there was anyone on board who hadn't shed tears after the somber announcement earlier. Hell, he'd dropped the flask that Chapel had just handed him in pure shock, gone to find Spock to confirm that this was indeed reality and not some sort of subterfuge, and then thrown a pillow (and glass, and book) across his quarters before his own tears began to fall.

**********

Jim had all but disappeared after the stone-faced announcement, the computer confirming "James Kirk has not left the ship" after his own search had turned up fruitless. Apparently, per Nyota, Spock had gently and quietly reminded Jim of Regulation 619, Jim nodded, and then left the bridge.

Then, a mere four hours later, a very stolid-faced Jim had shown back up on the bridge and very firmly told the Commander and Lieutenant that they were being relieved of duty and should vacate the bridge as soon as their reliefs showed up. Jim barely made it an hour before he handed the bridge to Spock's relief and holed up in his ready room. Once word reached Bones of the chain of events, he slipped into the ready room quietly and made sure the door was shut before he started in.

"What the devil are you doing?! Relieving your friends of duty that way and you yourself claiming that you're just fine desp-"

"DOCTOR!"

It was the tone that stopped Bones, that and being called "Doctor" in that tone. He couldn't remember the last time that Jim had done that. He stood stunned as he watched Jim quickly run his knuckle under his eye.

"I don't remember you asking for permission to speak freely, Doctor. Now, if you are here in official capacity, you can check the medical logs and find that I am physically fit for duty."

Bones opened his mouth to speak, but Jim cut him off.

"Furthermore, I submitted to a psych eval with Doctor Dehner and was declared fit for duty. If there's nothing else, I have a call to make to headquarters."

"Jim…" Bones couldn't find anything to say that he thought would get Jim to drop his facade, so he turned and left the ready room with a sigh.

**********

Bones had run into Jim once in the hall that led to the recreation deck a few hours later. He could hear the brief sniffle as Jim stood up straighter, looked over Bones' shoulder as he politely addressed him and kept walking. A similar incident occurred as Bones carried his tray to his favorite quiet corner in the mess hall, only to find Jim already sitting there, blankly staring at a nearly untouched baked apple.

"Jim?" he said as quietly as he could as he sat down across from the man. It took a few seconds for his presence to register, and then it was all business again as Jim took a deep breath and stood from the table.

"Bones, sorry about earlier, can I make it up to you later? I have to go talk to headquarters again, but I'll swing by your quarters later?"

And he was off without waiting for a reply from Bones, leaving the remainder of the Russian dessert sitting on the table.

**********

Jim never made it to Bones' quarter that night, and according to the computer, he either wasn't in his own, or had overrode the system to hide his location. When he failed to report to his shift on the bridge, Spock asked the computer for his location first, then checked with Uhura to make sure there hadn't been any missives from Starfleet that would explain his absence, and then sent Bones to look for him the old fashioned way.

It was on his third circuit of the ship that his communicator chirped and Nyota's soft voice suggested the transporter room.

**********

Bones found Jim sitting on the transporter pad in the darkened bay. He stood in the doorway, well aware that Jim would have heard the hiss of the door but wanting to give the man the chance to either finally acknowledge his grief in front of him, or shake it off as he had done so for the last twenty-four hours.

There were a few moments of sniffles and the ragged sound of breath that told Bones Jim had definitely been crying. He stepped inside so the door would close behind him, providing a further sense of privacy despite the fact that no one would be allowed in the corridor for at least another day or two while the ("Merely a formality, Doctor") investigation wrapped up.

He could see Jim in the low-power lighting, head down, forehead resting on the knees that were tucked into his chest. 

"Bones?" came the nasally inquiry without looking up.

"Yeah, kid, it's me."

Jim's head snapped up, and Bones could see there were still tears in his eyes. The last time he'd seen him like this was...after Pike.

He walked slowly toward Jim, giving him plenty of opportunity to tell him to stop or yell or whatever it was that Jim needed at the moment, but nothing happened. Jim just tucked his chin into his knees and followed Bones' movement with his eyes.

"Can I sit?" A nod. Another breath turned hiccough as another sob fought its way through. A sniffle. "I'm sorry, Jim." Then the tears began falling from Jim's eyes again as he let go of his knees and practically fell onto Bones' shoulder and chest. Bones wrapped his arms around him and let him cry, making soothing noises and gently rubbing Jim's back.

"He was so young, Bones. So young. Rationally I know we lost cadets younger than him during the battle with Nero, but they weren't him. They weren't my direct responsibility. He was, and he was so young, and had so much left to explore. He was so smart, Bones, so fucking smart, he could have saved this. He could have worked his crazy transporter magic and saved the person on the other side if he'd been the one at the control panel."

Jim cried for another minute or two before pushing himself off of Bones and swiping at his nose and eyes with his hands. Bones reached into his pocket, pulled out a handkerchief, and handed it to Jim before brushing the corners of his own eyes with his thumb.

"Maybe he could have, maybe not. We'll never know, Jim. But you're right about one thing. Chekov was the smartest of all of us. Hell, he even beat Spock at chess on a regular basis."

Jim and Bones both chuckled softly at that.

"I'm sorry, Bones. Really, I am. I was angry and upset and took it-"

"Now, Jim, don't even worry about it. We all handle grief differently. You're forgiven and I don't want to hear another word about it."

"Spock? And Uhura?"

"That green-blooded twerp is so worried about you he sent me to physically search the ship, and Ny's the one who actually thought of telling me to look here. I'm guessing you're not the only one who needed time here. You can take it up with them later. For now…" Bones took a deep breath. "For now, I think we need to work on moving forward. I'm pretty sure that's what Pavel would want."

Jim nodded, taking a deep breath as if to stave off another round of tears.

"Right. We've got engineering magic to work and planets to explore...in his name."

"I think that sounds real nice, Jim."

Both men sat in silence for a few more moments before a smile overtook Jim's somber expression.

"Did Spock tell you what his mom wants us to do?" Jim asked with a chuckle.

"I think he's been too busy worrying about running the ship and keeping tabs on you to fill me in on that part."

Jim winced slightly.

"I'll make sure I apologize for that one as well, maybe with an extra day or two of shore leave. Anyway, after I got done talking to the brass and convinced them to let me make the call to his family before I could even make the arrangements for the call, she was calling us. She already knew, Bones. Somehow, however many thousands of light years away from Earth we were, she knew something was wrong with 'her boy.' She doesn't want us to send his effects back, she said she'll wait until we finish up, and with the exception of a couple of things he brought with him, she wants us to 'leave a part of his spirit everywhere' we go. It took some arguing with headquarters, but they finally conceded that leaving ashes either in orbit or in the atmosphere doesn't violate the Prime Directive."

"I think that's a great tribute."

Jim nodded, and pushed himself up from the transporter pad.

"C'mon, Bones, we've got a service to hold and exploring to do."

"You sure you're ready for all this, Jim? You convinced Dehner to let you come back to active duty and weren't ok. I'm willing to sign off on anyone who needs some more time, including you."

Bones pushed himself off the pad as well and clapped a concerned hand on Jim's shoulder.

"Nah, Bones. I'm good this time. I've had the chance to watch the crew come together, support one another, and lean on each other. I don't have to be a stoic unfeeling captain, especially not when I've got you, Uhura, and Spock. Besides, the four of us are going to have to take care of Scotty and Hikaru. The three musketeers are no sadly no more."

"I'm gonna miss their shenanigans, much as I complained about having to patch them up after too much whiskey and vodka."

Jim let out a full belly laugh as Bones chuckled and he threw an arm around Bones' shoulders as they exited the transporter bay and headed for the bridge.

"Me too, Bones, me too."


End file.
